Yappy Dogs and Second Hand Smoke

Seriously. Can there be anything which flies in the face of Darwin’s “Survival of the Fittest” law more than a yappy dog? Don’t get me wrong. I love dogs. I even love cats. Over the years I’ve had many pets and stayed at many places which had pets without any issue. At least until I got to the place I just moved out of . . .

Let me be clear. A big dog, any dog really, which barks when someone approaches their dwelling, then stops when that person leaves or enters a different dwelling doesn’t bother me. They are doing their job. I don’t even mind when they do that at 3 a.m. because that’s their job.

Yappy dogs, on the other hand, don’t bark, they yap. Not only do they yap, they yap incessantly. They seem to believe if they are breathing they should be yapping. Few things are more anooying than a dog which cannot bark and refuses to shut up.

The place I just moved out of had an older couple downstairs. I don’t normally mind this, but, it was really an older woman with a job and the biggest case of “black lung” I’ve ever seen. I never spoke with either. I assumed the “wife” was sticking around the life insurance because she was no where near the sharpest tool in the shed. I mean, who in their right mind decides to buy a yappy dog so their spouse can get exercise? Joe chain smoker couldn’t take the dog for long walks because it never shut up. The geese which hung around the complex were way bigger than yappy dog and they knew it. On more than one occasion I heard a ruckus outside only to see it was one or more geese herding yappy dog and black lung back to their apartment.

I’m not being unkind by calling him black lung. There was a common air shaft between all three floors for bathroom and laundry room ventilation. I had to keep BOTH my bathroom and laundry room doors closed or my apartment would smell like an ash tray. Black lung didn’t bother to go outside and create a cancer cloud in the entry way to the building like most other smokers.

To fully understand my annoyance with yappy dog and why I believe the “wife” was a long way from the sharpest tool in the shed you have to know one more piece of information. Yappy dog barked incessantly at hair dryers. The “wife” had some kind of job which had her blow drying her hair at 1:30 a.m. most days per week. Get the picture?

I was only there about three months. As a result of that stay, I have serious doubts about second hand smoke research. Given the amount of smoke which would pass from their unit through my bathroom on its way to the roof, and the amount of barking yappy dog did, he had to be inhaling the equivalent of three packs per day for a dog his size.

My new corporate housing unit is along an Interstate. I consider it a dramatic improvement in piece and quiet.