Information Technology, Investing

IBM and Chrysler – Keystone Cops Separated At Birth

As one gets older, if one keeps their memory in tact, they can identify family lines and parenting traits for even illegitimate children. For those of you whose brain cannot focus on anything longer than a tweet, let me put it another way, Arnold admitted the affair because the kid started to look like him.

 IBM and Chrysler have to be illegitimate children from the same father, at least everyone in management must be. Just take a look at how “the twins” behave.

 IBM acquires Lotus which had recently acquired AMI Pro word processor. Soon after they put out the “Lotus SmartSuite” on both Windows and OS/2. Not only is it light years ahead of both Word and Word Perfect, the set of desk drawers was an amazingly intuitive concept. IBM does absolutely nothing to market the product. Does not port to MAC, and does not port to LINUX. Product disappears.

 Chrysler acquires AMC after getting into trouble with several government agencies. Soon after the purchase, not only do all of the government problems go away, but, Chrysler introduces the Eagle Premier ES Limited. This car is designed to go head to head with Mercedes and sell for half the price. Not only did it have style without equal, it had an engine which demanded you use at least 10% alcohol fuel and it got 24MPG on the highway back then! Not only does Chrysler fail to market this car, it floods the rest of the Eagle line with bare minimum econo-box cars to boost its fleet mileage average without having to change the rest of its brands. The finest car Chrysler ever made drifts into history.

 IBM decides to wade into the PC operating system market. They contract Microsoft, the company they will be competing with, to develop much of the new operating system. (Yes, it is OK if your idiot meters are pegged at this point.) The first release of OS/2 stumbles out the door like a senior citizen with a walker. Years and countless dollars pass. The bulk of Microsoft’s code gets removed. When Warp 4.5 is finally released it is stable, has support for all current devices, and has better memory management than its competitor will ever achieve. Rather than market the successful version of the OS, IBM sunsets it.

 Chrysler introduces the trend setting PT Cruiser. Despite the dozens of different six cylinder engines they have in their stable, they stuff in a four cylinder engine making most of the automotive buyers view it as a Neon taking growth hormone tablets. This vehicle launched the Retro craze. Chrysler promised a six cylinder version soon to follow. No significant improvements ever happened to the vehicle. The six cylinder option never appeared. PT Cruiser went from a car selling well above list price to a vehicle, like the Neon, dealers were forced to sell X of before they could get one good car. Like the Neon, the PT Cruiser is no more.

 IBM, once again needs a word processor and other office type software to integrate with Lotus Notes, Mail, and other products. They grab a version of OpenOffice and integrate it with their Eclipse IDE. The initial product is Lotus Symphony and after a few bug fix releases is both stable and elegant. It works on Windows, Linux, and MAC. IBM only moves forward with the Windows OS versions. They stick with outdated and mostly unavailable versions of Linux as the Linux world continues to move forward. While the product has not been officially sunset, it might as well be. Almost nobody has a platform which can install the current version.

 Chrysler introduces the Town & Country mini-van and launches the mini-van market. The rest of the automotive world goes into scramble mode. The Town & Country continues without getting any significant improvements. By the end of 2012 it is an also-ran in a category which it created.

 The list goes on and on.

The parentage of these two children seems obvious.